Friday, April 22, 2011

Free Beer Friday Guess The City

It's Back!!1!

I'm even going to give some healthy hints because this place is so soulless and devoid of all/anything interesting that you'll need it.

In the 50s/60s, London decided, "oy, we're bloody overcrowded, mate." So they decided to build cities, aka satellite towns for residents well outside the city limits despite the fact that they just had the ish bombed out of them a decade ago and had plenty of rebuilding to do. Out to the countryside mate.

So the biggest, best, and brightest architects of the day, including one Norman Foster, were hired to concoct and construct the grandest city evar!

The following images depict the city as I know it. Meaning, as google earth represents it. Meaning, sure as sh1t looks as soulless in images as I expect it to in person. Meaning, "man, nobody seems to be in any of those pictures."

It is the perfect modernist paradigm on the level of Brasilia or Canberra. There is no connection or intermingling between various "pods" of development which exist in isolation between the transportation infrastructure which also exists only in an abstract singularity. It moves. You live over there. Grunt. Groan. Caveman club girl on head. Drag by hair.

In many ways it is the perfect modernist city. Everything is its own monoculture, streamlined, assembly lined. Modernism hates messiness. Urbanism is just too messy. So is life. So is democracy. Let's hire some starchitects. They'll design something perfect. In abstract. That ignores all surroundings. And if we're lucky, maybe they'll even make fun of us with their design. Oh how I wish I had enough money to hire a starchitect who will design a Raccoon Trap that will poke fun at all of us.

Okey doke. Guess the city either in the comments or by strolling up and yelling out the name of the city at the bar I'll be patronizing tonight, one State & Allen Lounge in uptown Dallas, with their super tasty pizza and burgers, set in the midst of one of the most walkable neighborhoods in all of Dallas:

We need sculpted people because 1) they're more perfect than real people, and 2) real people are never here...